We all love our kids, but sometimes it’s more fun to leave them behind and have a holiday without children! It’s not easy to do though, and it can be hard to enjoy that holiday with no children if we’re worrying about them. To be honest, I’ve only done it three times (Three days in Singapore! A conference in Bangkok! A mini-break to Vietnam! Those were the days), but I think the planning I did and the info I gathered on how to make it work really helped. So here are my tips to make it even easier to live it up while you’re child-free on holidays.
Make a Happy Box
Before I left on my Singapore trip I made Emily what we call her Happy Box (she was five at the time). In her Happy Box are all her favourite little treasures, buttons from Disneyland, boarding passes, princess figurines, special sticks and seedpods from the garden. We put a special sticker on the box, and we talked about each piece that was in it and why it’s special makes her happy. While I was away she knew that if she was feeling sad she just had to get the Happy Box to feel happy again looking at all her special treasures. And it worked a treat. It’s an easy and effective tool to use.
Talk to your child about your trip.
Tell them where you will be going and what you will be doing. You may wish to read a book or watch a TV show about the place/country/destination or show them on your world globe. But make sure you talk to them about it some distance out so they’re not surprised at the last minute and have time to get used to the idea. I start mentioning it about a month out – I talk about where I’m going, what Emmie will be doing while I’m away, and what we will do when I get back.
Make a calendar of the days you’re away.
Stick it to the wall so they can mark it off and see how many days there are til you’re back home. You can use stickers, or photos or your children can colour in the boxes. This is something you can do together. Emmie and I draw up a calendar together and decorate it with stickers and drawings before I go, and she marks off the days while I’m away.
Make contact.
Now this is a very personal decision based on age, their potential anxiety and the fact that small children don’t have a concept of time, so talking to them and saying ‘I’ll see you in four sleeps’ doesn’t give younger kids a sense of when you’ll return. On my first trip I didn’t call or FaceTime Emmie, but once she was little older – and she knows where I am and can understand how many days til I return – I’m happy to call and chat to her because I know it’s not going to upset her. But it’s up to you, some kids are fine and it’s great to have some face time when you’re away.
Send photos.
Take photos on your iPhone and if you can, text or email them with updates about what you’re doing.
Send postcards!
If you’re away for more than a couple of days it’s fun to send postcards your child will receive in the mail. Of course if snail mail doesn’t appeal to you, you can always send an email update each night.
Make a scrapbook or diary.
Your child can write, draw pictures or dictate to their carer important things that happened while you’re away, then you can share stories when you get back.
Make pictures for each other. Colour in a picture or choose a photo for each other to hold onto while you’re away.
Star light star bright.
Pick out a star and agree you’ll both say goodnight to each other while looking at the star. Emmie and I also talk a lot about the ‘invisible string’ that connects our hearts so she knows that even though I am not near her we are still connected by love.
Leave little gifts.
Similar to the tiny wrapped presents I take on the plane, I also leave some little inexpensive wrapped gifts for her. These can help if your child is feeling down and can be used in a treasure hunt or placed on your child’s pillow at night or for when they wake up in the morning. Similarly, you can leave little notes – one for each day you’re away.
And the most effective…the BRIBE!
Emmie knew that for every day I was in Bangkok, she would get a day in Disneyland (we flew to LA the day I returned to Sydney). She was a little clingy about my trip, but whenever I mentioned the D word she brightened up and all was fine. You don’t need to promise Disney – a little present or some special time with mummy when you return is just as good.
Take them but take a nanny
Alternatively you can take someone with you to help. When we had our lovely au pair, Coco, from France we took a trip to Fiji and she came with us. It gave me some lovely time to myself to enjoy the resort while Coco was playing with Emmie and I had the best of both worlds.
I hope this is helpful! Please let me know your tips and tricks for leaving happy kids at home in the comments.
Xoxo Evie